And Now...The REST Of The S T O R Y!
So there I was...
Being interrogated by the Taliban.
They tried to seduce me with false comfort,
seating me on a soft couch
where I sat, often with my head resting between my hands
(from sheer boredom, as I waited)
as the giggly Taliban policewoman often skipped off to the next room
to conspire with the other Taliban policewoman
regarding what trick questions to ask, what traps to set.

It was a trap, a stressful situation.
They could and would use anything I said against me.
Take deep breaths...exhale slowly...stay calm
It was a dangerous situation.
Deja Vu All Over Again.  They're out to ruin your life.

"Are you in the CIA?" she asked.
It was a trick question.
"Yes" could mean instant decapitation.
"No" could mean mocking and endless torture for "lying"
I took the middle road...
After a long, careful, thoughtful pause,
which the video made me look as guilty as hell, I replied,
"Well, there's a large spectrum of 3-letter combinations..."
She didn't like that answer.

"ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH THE CIA OR WITH THE TALIBAN?" she demanded.
The question was ambiguous.
I thought of just answering, "yes."
It might have bought me time.

But I figured she might shoot me on the spot.
Better not provoke her.
"The CIA likes the Taliban, and the Taliban likes the CIA.
They treat each other very well, and get along quite nicely," I replied.
It was evasive as hell.
I didn't answer the question ... but ...

She liked that answer...a lot.
She thought it was cute.
She scurried off to the adjacent room to giggle and conspire
with the other Taliban policewoman.

Here was a CIA guy who liked the Taliban, but he didn't "LIKE" like them, just liked them, appropriately.
They had just interviewed a couple of giggling Taliban who had gushed with praise about me.
This was so much fun for them.
What other fun questions could they toy and scare me with?
After all, it was a great relief from the normal routine of
fatal traffic accidents,
active shooters,
domestic disturbances.

She came back.
"Do you find attractive girls to be attractive?"
I played dumb. "What's that?"
"Are you attracted to attractive girls?"
Holy shit! She had me boxed in.
I saw no way out.
I just restated the question back to her, "attractive girls are attractive."
She was mad.
She tried the same question with a twist.
"Has this ever happened to you before.
Have you ever been attracted to attractive girls in the past?"
She was relentless, going for blood, going for the jugular.
"One again, there's a large spectrum of attractiveness in girls..."
I closed my eyes, put my face in my hand, and waited for that feeling
of a merciful bullet to my temple.
"That would end this torture," I thought.

But no bullet.
She sprang up and giggled and skipped into the adjacent room.
The vidotape lingered on my sitting on the couch with my face in my hands.
Then I slowly exhaled and wiped the tension off my face and put my hands at my side.
It all made me look as guilty as hell.

When she came back, she wanted to talk about clothes.

"I think the Taliban dress very modestly," I said.
"The Taliban girls always wear pants,
and when they do wear shorts,
the shorts come all the way down to their knees,
even when they're sitting,
not like the slutty, blond, soccer senior I taught
at san juan high school in carmichael, ca.
You could see the underpants at her crotch when she sat down,
OR like the white female teacher across the hall at Chief Manuelito.
she wore short shorts, displaying her WEIGHTLIFTER THIGHS
(one of them SOONERS who ravaged across oklahoma and The Southwest
killing Native American families and stealing their land,
sooner than others did).
she didn't do it to look attractive, because it was GROSS!
she was just trying to intimidate the small, 6th grade boys to behave.
TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE AND DISGUSTING.
NOBODY wore short shorts at Chief Manuelito Middle School."
She liked that.
She released me.
"You're cute and handsome," she said.
"Have a good life!"

"But these allegations by the documented sex-pervert administrators at the district
(gallup administrators have a documented history of extreme sex and violence crimes.)
are going to fuck my credential probably,
and it might be impossible to get another teaching job,
despite my innocence and their guilt."


"I know, huh.
I HATE it when that happens."
As I walked past the adjacent room,
she and the other Taliban policewoman were giggling, looking at the paperwork.


That's the way I remember it.
Although some hack managed to patch together an edited video that made me look guilty,
I came across ok.
Most prisoners interrogated by the Taliban
look like they've been tortured for weeks or months or years,
and they're confessing to everything,
"Yes, I am evil CIA. Down with the USA."
I didn't crack.
I didn't even admit that attractive girls are attractive.
I was thinking of telling them that attractive girls are attractive by definition.
That's why they call them "attractive."
But it was probably a smart choice not to say that.
Better to make them feel like the smart ones.
Keep them giggling.
When interrogated, it's always good to keep the Taliban girls giggling.

I did crack a little, though.
Everybody does.
                           I admitted that I'd always liked The Girl From Ipanema.          Scroll Down 
This was my worst moment. She put a gun to my head and giggled, "Tell me more!"
"Well, um, she's tall and tan and young and lovely."
"AND!?" she demanded, pressing the barrel to my temple, and giggling.
"When she walks, she swings so cool, and sways so gentle
but each day as she walked to her seat,
she looked straight ahead not at me.
I smiled, but she just didn't see..."


Just say "Ahhhhhhhhh!" like DAVID SCULLY DOES. It's the RIGHT THING TO DO!

 DON'T RAPE THEM
AND CHOP THEM UP
AND BURN THEM
like gallup-mckinley school district principals and administrators do
(people like stevie wartgo).

THAT'S THE WRONG THING TO DO!
 Scroll Down 
 Me? I LOVED my students!  
I would never harm ANY of them for the world! 
 BUT SICKO, PSYCHO STEVEN WARGO, the principal
who worked at GALLUP HIGH SCHOOL could have done it!
That's What I Think. 

 REMEMBER! IT WAS THE PRINCIPAL FROM GALLUP HIGH SCHOOL
who sexually abused gallup high school boys for decades! 
 
 Scroll Down to Shamed Principals 
GALLUP PRINCIPALS LIKE HIM HAVE A LOT TO BE ASHAMED OF!
AND
I HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!

 GALLUP PRINCIPALS LIKE stevie wartgo HAVE A LOT TO BE ASHAMED OF!  
AND
I HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF! 
For one thing, I couldn't afford to go from gallup to albuquerque
to drug, rape, chop up and burn
one of the prettiest girls in the state.

I was busy fighting off hugs from pretty gallup girls.
I was putting notes on the board "No Hugs! Hi 5's OK!"

 NO HUGS     but       HI FIVES OK