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This S U C K S !

So Our Graduate Student
leaves Alaska cuz he's outta work
and they don't like him
'cause he dances to electronic dance music
like they play on SIRIUS channel 80.
As usual, he didn't fit in.
He didn't fit in with the extreme right or the extreme left,
and that's what Alaska and california are -
lands of extremists.
The extreme conservatives predominate in Alaska
and the extreme liberals predominate in california,
but the two elements are present in both states,
and Our Graduate Student doesn' fit in with either.
He was willing to fit in with either group.
It was THEY who were exclusionary.
The extreme right excluded him
because he wasn't a bible-believing, obedient ignoramus,
because he was educated and understood the history of evolution,
because he danced to electronic dance music,
TECHNO music, with the devil's words between the notes
or played backwards, or something.
And the liberals excluded him
because of their mythologies.
They needed bad guys. They needed dragons to slay. He' do.
After all, he wrote limbaugh's script, didn't he ?
They recognized that.
limbaugh refused to, but they did.
That's one of the ironies.
The liberal fascists respect Our Graduate Student.
They know what he did for the neocons.
But the conservatives diss him.
As the liberal fascists pierce him with arrows,
pour mud on him, stone him,
persecute him and prosecute him,
the conservatives deny him thrice,
nay, a multitude before the crowing cocks.

So he drives back
and, after 6 years in the quiet beauty of Alaska,
and a week driving through the western forests of Canada,
he crosses the border and heads down I5
with traffic buzzing, zipping and zooming
and swerving and careening and middle fingers flying
and he says,
This S U C K S !
and a year or two later
he'd meet an Olympic athlete at a rest area
who biked from Florida to Alaska
and back down like Our Graduate Student
and who said the same thing up there
after crossing the border,
"This sucks !"

And now he's a political refugee in Middletown PA,
surrounded by more conservative useful idiots
who hate him
and of course he hates them in return.

But he went back to california
because he couldn't believe six years went so fast
and this isn't what he planned.
He planned on having a teaching career
and starting a new life
and having his daughter visit him
summers and Christmas.
Split physical custody they call it.
HA.

So he goes back to his home in california
to be insulted and interfered with
by the white female of plus years on the right
and to be attacked by the Afro gorilla on the left
and then the judge judy program calls him !?
I'll give you one guess as to whether
THAT was connected to the conspiracy.
He thought long and hard
before he agreed to go on judge judy,
believe you me, as they say.
"It's a show for clowns," he thought.
"Everybody comes out lookin' like a fool on that show.
They control the program.
They do the editing."
And why did they call him ?
What are the odds.
Somebody was behind it.
The liberal fascist conspiracy.
They were behind the attack by the Afro gorilla neighbor
on Our Graduate Student's doorstep,
and now they were going to try to ridicule and humiliate him on tv.

He thought it over
and he thought it over
and he thought it over.
"I just won't make a fool of myself," he said
"They may make me look foolish with their editing,"
he thought, "but I'll make it real real hard for them.
THEY might make me look foolish.
But I won't make a fool of myself."
And so he went, and brought his reluctant teenage daughter.
It was for her he was doing it.
He wanted her to see it all.
That's the only way she'd understand.
She knew how it was.
She know how their lives were.
He'd stood up for himself on his own doorstep
like a MAN.
He took a blow from a gorilla twice his size
and took that gorilla down onto his back.

Nobody expected THAT.
The neighborhood was eerily quiet
when Our Graduate Student answered the doorbell.
The gorilla screamed and yelled
and postured and threatened
and Our Graduate Student waited for the neighbors to come.
Our Graduate Student finally commanded him to leave.
His voice was loud.
So was the gorilla's.
When would the neighbors come to defuse this ?
Then the gorilla reached to his side pocket
and swiftly struck Our Graduate Student
on the side of the head with an object.
Our Graduate Student brought him to the ground
and held him flat to the ground on his back.

THEN the neighbor came.
THEN the neighbor ripped off Our Graduate Student's shirt.
It seemed like everyone knew what was gonna go down
and they were all waiting indoors,
waiting for Our Graduate Student to get his ass kicked
by a gorilla twice his size.
Our Graduate Student was the only white man in the neighborhood
for blocks around.
He was the first one to buy a house there
and move into the new subdivision, in 1980.
his daughter was born there in 1981.
All the whites moved out.
Then Our Graduate Student was attacked at edison hs in stockton.
He decided to move to Alaska and start a new life.
You know the story.
Useful idiot conservative ignoramuses,
baptists still mocking evolution,
charismatics talking in tongues
and having conversations with Jesus in the bedrooms at night.
Literally. Jesus standing right there in the corner, they said.
Union thugs living quiet, desperate, nasty mean lives.
Clever liberal fascists excluding him.
He was their bad guy, their straw man.
They needed a dragon to slay.
They needed racists to fight.
He'd do.
He stood up to black people when they were wrong.
But in the liberal fascist mythology,
african americans are never wrong.
So back in california in the neighborhood he established
they had his gorilla afro neighbor attack him
to kick his ass.
The whole neighborhood waited.
They were all afraid of the gorilla.
Little asians and mexicans and Indians.
They old white woman of plus years on the right
had to be into it.
she married a mexican farmworker
and had an attitude from the day they moved in.
had a bratty boy who went to berkeley.
Our Graduate Student was their target
because he had married an Asian girl.
That cause them white feminists a headache.
They had to go to the trouble of re-educating the asian wife
to turn her into a white-man-hating feminist copycat.

But Our Graduate Student humiliated the Afro gorilla.
That was just the opposite of the plan.
They wanted Our Graduate Student to be humiliated.
No matter.
It still fed their mythology.
There was a confrontation between white and black.
There. Further proof that Our Graduate Student was racist.

So Our Graduate Student had to expose it,
let everyone know what actually had happened,
what had really
GONE DOWN.
You know, SHIT HAPPENS.
So, the gorilla never apologized.
So Our Graduate Student decided to encourage him
to apologize and set the record straight.
So he sued the gorilla.
Next thing you know
this guy calls up and says he's a Judge Judy producer.

Was Our Graduate Student suspicious ?
Do bears shit in the woods around Red Devil and Aniak ?
Do moose wander through the streets of Anchorage ?
"Who in sacramento alerted the Judge Judge program,"
wondered Our Graduate Student.

The gorilla lived on OUr Graduate Student's left.
On the gorilla's left used to live Danny and Annette.
Danny was a Puerto Rican from the Lower East Side (NYC),
and Annette was a nice Jewish girl.
The gorilla's Rottweiler bit their toddler girl's face one day.
Danny and Annette were upset (do you think understandably ?),
so the gorilla ends up threatening Danny
and chasing him to his doorstep and into his house.
Hmmm. Does that sound familiar.
Danny and Annette moved, fled to the foothills.
They told Our Graduate Student
they would gladly show up in court to testify.
This would establish a pattern of gorilla behavior.
But the Judge Judy program wouldn't allow witnesses.
Just write a statement, they said.
So Our Graduate Student finally decided to do it.
It would be an experience.
He wanted his daughter to see him follow this thing through
like a
MAN
not like a gorilla.
Like a civilized, adult, mature MAN.
Like the bitchy, evil liberal fascist feminazis
were tryin' to bring her up thinkin' he wasn't.
He was going to take her down to Judge Judy
so she could see him stand like a MAN
and tell the truth,
no matter what.
No matter if the whole world was against him.
No matter if judge judy edited it
and made him appear to be a fool.

She'd know.
She'd see it all.
So they went.
So they're waitin' around in the waiting room
and the producer tells Our Graduate Student
that Judge Judy takes his statement at "gold."
"Well, that's nice," thinks Our Graduate Student.
"It IS gold. It's solid truth."
But he didn't put his guard down.
He didn't know Judge Judy on a personal basis,
and he still figured it was the
sacramento shallow FAKE liberal feminazis
who'd set this whole thing up.

So then the producer says a remark about how
"judge judy respects people who go
TOE TO TO with her."
"Hmmm," thinks Our Graduate Student.
"This thing then is supposed to be a battle
between me and judge judy ?!"
Now, tell me, does that sound like a setup to you ?
Trick a guy onto the judge judy program
and then trick him into battling her toe-to-toe ?
I mean, they could make Mother Teresa look like a fool
with their editing, even if she was performing a miracle
and bringing someone dead back to life !
So Our Graduate Student didn't bite on that one.

It was really quite a production, though.
They got called into the courtroom
and it was full of high school students.
After all, this was L.A.
These kids wanted to get into the movie industry.
They were probably all in theatre classes in high school.
They were very cooperative. Like putty in the producer's hands.
Our Graduate Student had asked the producer
to please make his nervous daughter feel comfortable.
In response, the producer gave the high students direction,
"When it starts, I want everybody
talking to the person next to them," he said.
His daughter was part of the show,
chatting with the high school boy next to her.
Cool.

Our Graduate Student noticed
that they put the podiums much closer to each other
than they were for the previous case.
Did they want us to come to blows.
The gorilla came in with his family in tow.
Playin' the sympathy card.
Look at me, I have a family.
Couldn't stand alone like a man.

Judge Judy looks at Our Graduate Student
and asks him to tell what happened.
Our Graduate Student narrates
and gets to the point where
the gorilla got to his door and started talking.
"I'll tell you exactly what he said," said Our Graduate Student.
Then he paused deliberately and looked Judge Judy in the eye,
"and do you want me to say it HOW he said it ?"
Our Graduate Student asked Judge Judy.
She said, "Yes."
So Our Graduate Student boomed it
the way the gorilla did on his doorstep,
"You got grass clippings on my driveway
and you did it on purpose,
NOW GET OVER THERE
AND CLEAN IT UP !
The courtroom shook.
Water glasses were ringing.
A pin dropped on the other side of the room
and landed with a thud.
Our Graduate Student was
S T R O N G !
Too strong.
He Thundered.
He stole Judge Judy's thunder for the moment.
They edited that part out.
But he DID ask her,
and her got her permission
to say it JUST THE WAY the gorilla had said it,
and he did.

The gorilla tried to trick Our Graduate Student into singing
(Our Graduate Student practiced at home a lot
and the gorilla was ridiculing it)
and he complained that Our Graduate Student
"didn't never have no friends comin' over."
(Well, he'd been in Alaska for six years)

Anyway, Our Graduate Student won
but only five hundred bucks.
Judge Judy had give away five thousand
to other people just for having their feelings hurt,
but I guess Our Graduate Student
was penalized for being too strong,
for stealing Judge Judy's thunder for the moment.

Whatever.
It was all show biz anyway.
The way they get the defendant to go on Judge Judy
is by paying the judgement for them if they lose.
And that's also an enticement for the plaintiff
who won't have to fight for the judgement after it's awarded.

Judge Judy sized up the situation
and looked at Our Graduate Student and said,
"one of you is going to have to move !"

So Our Graduate Student won the moral victory.
But he had to move out of that dangerous,
hate-filled, racist neighborhood
where he was the only white man.
He'd paid that mortgage and struggled to keep that house
for twenty years.
As soon as his daughter graduated from high school,
he sold it, practically at a loss in 1999.

Judge Judy, at the beginning of the program,
asked Our Graduate Student what he wanted.
"I want an apology," he said.
"Well, you're not gonna get one !"
I don't know why not.
She could have made him give one.
Or, at least, she could have told him
that he certainly owed me one.

So, who knows for sure
what Judge Judy's racial and sexual politics are.
She's a white woman and has a black bailiff
who she's made into a movie star, too.
She's Jewish and from New York.
She must have principles.
After all, she DID find for Our Graduate Student
who was clearly in the right.
but she appeared to do so somewhat begrudgingly.
It just conflicted too much with her mythology, I guess,
that Our Graduate Student
was so STRONG and MANLY in the courtroom
and the african american male was not.
They did a little editing,
but Our Graduate Student gave them
nothing to make him look foolish.
They didn't show his thunder,
and they showed judge judy to be displeased with him.

But his daughter saw what really happened,
and he took her to Beverly Hills for the afternoon for fun,
as a Victory Celebration.

That's all.

Tomorrow, we'll talk about
Our Graduate Student going to
a rush limbaugh dinner in sacramento
to try to meet the loudmouth
who had used His Newsletters as his script.

ADD THESE TWO ITEMS
1. HOW HIS ROTTWEILERS ROCKED HIS PICKUP,
"I'M SURE GLAD I DON'T LIVE NEXT DOOR TO HIM."
CONNECTED ?
2. I INVITED HIM TO BARBEQUE A WEEK OR TWO
BEFORE THE INCIDENT.


The sacramento police didn't arrest him
even though I called them right away
and he had assaulted and battered me on my doorstep.

And of course, as far as the apology goes,
you KNOW a white man would have had to give
an apology to the black man.
Fuck america !

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