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stockton traffic school
and credentialing agency
 
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Come On ! now.
It Wasn't Called The
stockton traffic school
and credentialing agency !
Maybe That's What It Really Was,
But It HAD To Have An
official, important sounding name !
WHAT WAS IT !!!??
Ok, you're right.
It has an official,
important sounding name.
Ya ready ?
 
Yeah, wait.
Get The Drum Roll.
Play The bugles.
OK.
Dum da da da da da!
"the university of
THE PACIFIC !

THE PACIFIC !!!??
The Whole, Gosh Darn,
Mother Lovin' PACIFIC !!!??
That's HUGE !
That's Almost The Whole
Gosh Darn, Mother Lovin' WORLD !
The Pacific is the biggest part of the world
that there IS !
Even just The Pacific RIM is huge !
Wow.
Yeah, they even had their own
fancy old tower,
built about a hundred years ago or more.
 
Wow !
Maybe even some ivy on the walls.
 
This Had To Be One Of
The Greatest Universities EVER !
It Sounds So Venerable !
And Traditional !
So...So...So...
Yes, it was just too too,
or so so.
Whatever.

So, anyway, moving right along,
the sla sister
up there at the state university
where Our Graduate Student, in 1982,
had planted the intellectual seeds
that would rock American discourse
about racial and sexual politics and liberalism in particular,
and about society and politics in general,
the sla sister of mary jane olson
from up thar' in minne suh OH ta
who beamed that crazy, dysfunctional,
out-of-control violent schools
were wonderfully just
"a re flack shun of Suh SAY uh tay,"
it gives Our Graduate Student thumbs down
so he says "fuck you !"
and goes to a different traffic school
and credentialing agency to get his ticket stamped.

He Says That A Lot.
Yeah.
Well, so do they.
It gets ya' by.
He's rubber and they're glue
whenever they call him names.
Remember ?

Oh yeah ! That's Right !
So why did the pacific agency
let him in
after the bad people in sacramento
got rid of him ?
Who knows ?
He didn't really care,
didn't think much about it.
One traffic school's as good as another.

All he had to do was his student teaching.
He had all his coursework behind him
except one class.
So he spent the intervening semester subbing
on an emergency credential.
Don't you just love the terminology ?
emergency !
emergency credential !
It's an EMERGENCY that someone get credentialed
and get into these classrooms
and teach these poor little children,
ESPECIALLY THE BOTTOM  20 %,
the 20 % that RUINS education
for that undeserving, overprivileged 80 % !
Forty percent of the teachers in oakland
(where they got that sla sistuh at sac state from)
are on "emergency" credentials.

Why Do You Make Such a Big Deal About Words
Like That ?
Words are important.
Like the "critical" in "critical thinking,"
the "traditional" in "traditional public schools."
They're loaded words.
The "emergency" in "emergency credential."

"critical" implies and connotes significance,
importance, urgency, superiority.
"traditional" implies and connotes
lots of warm, fuzzy, feel-good memories.
"emergency" implies and connotes
urgency and desperate need.
We could probably come up with lots of even better
connotations for these words, given time,
with a little brainstorming and teamwork.
There is no "emergency" for credentialed teachers.
The "emergency" is that
schools are out of control
with out-of-control students,
with out-of-control teachers,
with out-of-control parents,
with out-of-control administrators,
with out-of-control policies,
with out-of-control laws.
There's plenty of fully credentialed teachers.
But there are hardly any good schools.

So, anyway, Our Graduate Student
subs that semester,
lookin' for an internship to do his student teaching.
That's when he subbed for a while
at highlands high school,
where that fat, little chinese american teacher kid
was mockin' the Berkeley Vietnam War protestors
and tried to provoke Our Graduate Student
by yelling, in the quad, contempt for "The Irish!"

Anything Else Happen At highlands high school?
Sure. We could write a book about it,
and maybe we will someday,
but we still have over two decades to cover
to expose the conspiracy against Our Graduate Student
to deprive him of his Constitutional Rights
of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

I will mention two things, though.
OK
Well, Our Graduate Student got hired there
as a "long-term sub",
meaning he was just like a regular teacher,
but he didn't have a contract.
He taught the same classes, the same kids,
every day, 5 days a week, week after week.
He didn't jump around from school to school
every day like a regular sub.
He had all ninth graders, high school freshmen,
and he got the job in October
after they'd already been through
about 5 "long-term" subs.

Hard to handle kids ?
Yes, but Our Graduate Student was young
and energetic and enthusiastic
and he was doing a very good job at it.
He got a recommendation there
from a physics colleague, Jack Tolomei,
and it's posted on his web page.
So, anyway, Our Graduate Student
wants to show his students some educational videos
and there's no video player,
so he brings in his own video player.
It's there for a few days in the science building
in the faculty area between the classrooms,
where the immature white math dept chair
and the immature fat chinese american
mocker of the Berkeley protestors
ate lunch.
So, one day this African Ameri
Racist !
huh ?
You're A Racist.
You're A White Guy
And You're Gonna Say Somethin'
About A black guy, so you're a
Racist !
But...
Racist !
I...
Racist !
Racist !
RACIST !
I thought you wanted to hear what I have to say.
I Do!
But I Really Enjoy Screaming
RACIST !
At You.
Oh.

Go Ahead. Continue The Narrative.
Just Remember That Whenever
You Talk About An African American,
You're Being
RACIST !
What if I say something complimentary,
something nice ?

Doesn't Matter.
You're Still Being
RACIST !
Don't You Remember hulbe,
the fat little roley-pole astronomy guy at scc ?
He Called All The Representatives In D.C.
RACISTS !
When They Made Martin Luther King's Birthday
A National Holiday.
We Liberals Are ENTITLED !
We're ENTITLED To Break The Rules of Logic
And Common Sense And Rationality
Whenever We Feel Like It !
I didn't know you were a liberal.

Well, I'm Not Really.
I Just Like To Fantasize, Though,
And Dream And Pretend That I, Too,
Could Have The Magical Powers of ENTITLEMENT
And Turn Logic Upside Down
And Twist The Truth
And Defy Rational Thought !
But I'm Just A Normal Person Like You,
Constrained By The Imperatives of Truth, Logic,
And Rational Discourse.
Woe Is Me !
Oh ! To Be An ENTITLED Liberal Fascist !
Free Of The Constraints Of Common Sense !
Yet Demanding And Critical Of All Others !
Oh, it's not so bad bein' honest and truthful.
Deep down, in the long run, it feels good.
"If it feels good, do it."
That's what they used to say in the sixties.
Tellin' The Truth feels good.
You know, The Truth is what saved Our Graduate Student
in 1982 when he wrote His Newsletters at sac state !

Really !?
Oh, yeah.
See, that attorney dean of students jerk, timmy comstock,
well, timmy was actin' all
CRAZY

Like Charles Manson ?
Yeah, yeah. You could say that.
timmy comstock was actin' all CRAZY like Charles Manson,
and was wavin' around
those blue flyers
that Our Graduate Student
had distributed and that timmy comstock attorney guy's wavin'
those blue flyers screamin'
and sayin' everybody was goin' crazy whenever they saw blue
and they were talkin' about suin'
Our Wonderful, Peaceful,
Truthful Graduate Student because they didn't like what he said.
So, Our Truthful Graduate Student
goes back the the law school he attended for a year,
McGeorge School of Law,
and finds out that Truth is a Complete Defense
in cases like that.

Really !
Then What Did He Do ?
Do you really have to ask ?

Oh. Oh, Of Course !
He Wrote A Letter About It ?
That's right.
Our Graduate Student wrote a Newsletter about it
and explained to that
CRAZY, tantrum-throwing attorney dean of students
and to that entire university community
that Truth is a COMPLETE defense
in such cases.

All Right. You Win.
Just Keep Tellin' The Truth
And I'll Try Not To Always Yell,
RACIST !
 at you.
It's Just That It's So HARD !
It's Such A Habit !
We ALL Do It All The Time Whenever Somebody Says
Somethin' We Don't Like !
Alright,
So, one day this African American teacher
from some other department
in some other building
storms into the science faculty area
and grabs the push car
with Our Graduate Student's video player on it
and starts rollin' it out.
Our Graduate Student goes over and tells him
that those things are his personal property
and asks him what his intentions are.
The African American guy pretty much ignores him.

What Did Our Graduate Student Do ?
Can't remember for sure,
but he made sure he got it back.
I think he let the guy use it for a period
or a half a day or something,
but made sure he got a receipt for it or something.
I mean, Our Graduate Student was being collegial.
But that's not the main point.
The main point is the way
the guy just came stormin' into the room
and headed straight for
Our Graduate Student's video player
and proceeded to take it
with out so much as asking whether it was available
or who was using it or who it belonged to
or ANYTHING.
And, how the hell did he know it was there, anyway ?
He knew ahead of time that the video player was there.
How he knew I don't know, but he knew it was there
and he seemed to know that it was Our Graduate Student's.
When Our Graduate Student informed him of that fact,
he just ignored Our Graduate student
who had to finally actually block his movement
as he proceeded to push the cart down the aisle.
That guy had never come into their building or that room
during the normal course of business.
Well, Our Graduate Student
was somewhat taken aback
by the guy's behavior and hostile attitude,
and, some time later,
using those two immature science teachers
as a sounding board,
he bounces off his impression
that there appeared to be some racism
on the highlands high school campus,
wondering if they thought that guy
who grabbed his video player was a little racist.
A LITTLE !
they exclaimed.
No. Not A LITTLE racist.
That guy was REAL racist towards whites,
they informed Our Graduate Student.
The fat little asian american guy
also bragged that asians were racist against whites.

Another incident of significance
was when two African American girls
knocked our Our Graduate Student's door during class.
They spoke very politely
and asked if they could PLEASE speak to some white girl.
Normally, Our Graduate Student would have denied
any request for a social chat
or any interference that was not initiated
by an administrator or another teacher.
But they were so very polite
that he decided to reward their behavior.
So, he tells the white girl in his class
that some girls would like to talk to her and,
the next thing you know,
those two African American girls
are beating the shit out of that white girl
right outside his classroom door.
He goes outside and he tries to stop it
but he doesn't know what to do.
If he touches the black girls
and tries to physically restrain them,
he knows he'll be charged with racism
for touching a black girl.
Also, if any part of the black girls' clothing
got ripped or torn in even the slightest way,
he knew there would probably be accusations
of sexual assault.
So, he stands beside them yelling, "Stop !"
until an African American boy came up and stopped them.
He could touch them without being called racist.

But, Our Graduate Student, The Teacher,
Would Have Been Acting In An Official Capacity,
"In Loco Parentis," As It Were.
Huh. That's a joke.
Let me give you an illustraton.
I already told you that Our Graduate Student
had taken over five classes of ninth graders
in October, after these kids had already gone through
about five "long-term" subs.
They were a handful.
So, Our Graduate Student's givin' it all he's got,
like any enthusiastic new teacher,
and he's giving the classes "order and direction"
as his recommendation says.
The main thing, of course, was classroom management.
I'm beating around the bush.
Look, some of these kids were extreme behavior problems.
So, Our Graduate Students sends the worst problems
to the vice principal, repeatedly.
One of these kids, a white boy,
was just bouncing off the walls every day
just like the "flubber" in Fred MacMurray's lab
in "The Absent-Minded Professor,"
so he just simply HAS to be removed from the class,
almost every day.
Our Graduate Student just patiently
keeps sending him down to the vp,
waiting for the vp to eventually put the kid
into a special program (out of the class !)
Instead, this is what the vp does. Unbelievable.
Listen to this.
He calls them BOTH down to his office
and sits them both down in chairs in front of his desk
and he says, "all right now, let's get BOTH SIDES of this,"
like they were two kids who got into a fight in the hallway.
Our Graduate Student is bustin' his ass every day
managing a zoo that had already run out of the class
five animal trainers, er, I mean, subs.
This ninth grader is disrupting EVERY class that he's in,
EVERY day. Our Graduate Student simply can not
devote almost all of his time and energy to this boy
and his behavior issues every day, all period long.
It would have been completely unfair
to the other 20 or 30 kids in the class to do so.
It's supposed to be a team endeavor.
administrators like the vp are supposed to HELP the teachers.
So after this kid gets sent down to the vp
every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times in one period,
the vp calls in Our Graduate Student
and treats him like a kid in a hallway scuffle.
"let's get BOTH sides of this," he says.
Our Graduate Students turns red with outrage.

What'd He Say to the nitwit vp ?
Can't remember exactly.
Probably something like,
"This isn't about a schoolyard scuffle between KIDS, you know !
I'm THE TEACHER, responsible for managing 150 9th graders.
Then the nitwit vp starts to act all gloriously important
and yells, "i have to take this from a
Substitute Teacher !?"
He wasn't gettin' on Our Graduate Student's good side !

What An Incompetent, Unprofessional jerk !
Yes, and now Our Graduate Student wonders
whether that nitwit vp treated ALL teachers that way,
or whether he got special insulting treatment
because he was the author of the 1982 Newsletters
and all these punk ass gunslingers
wanted the fame and glory from shootin' him in the back.
Now, in retrospect, in light of the obvious Conspiracy,
Our Graduate Student believes the latter.
But, the problem is, when they're out to get you,
as they clearly have been regarding Our Graduate Student,
you never really know WHICH incidents are Conspiracy related,
and which are just caused by shallow, liberal incompetence.

That Was An Important Illustration,
But Getting Back To Those Two Girls Who Came To The Door,
They Wouldn't Have Called Our Graduate Student
A Racist For Breaking Up A Fight !
Oh Yeah, you think so ?
Well, a couple of years later,
Our Graduate Student
was subbing at an elementary school
and a black boy started beating up
a smaller white boy who was disabled and on crutches.
Furious, Our Graduate Student
grabbed the back of the black boy's jacket
and lifted him off the ground
and held him suspended and dangling in the air.
He did not strike the boy or touch him in any way.
He just stopped the boy from continuing his assault
on a disabled boy on crutches
by grabbing the back of his jacket
and lifting him off the ground.
Both parents came and got their kids,
and later the vice principal
comes all shaken and upset to Our Graduate Student
sayin' the black boy's parents' complaint of racism
is probably gonna go "real far."
These unfair, untrue charges of racism
against white male teachers were, and are,
a continuing thread.

Yes, And It Seems That Usually Or Often
The Charges Are Backward.
Often It Is The African American Who Is Racist.
Just The Way I Just Got Caught Up In The Madness
And Unfairly Accused Our Graduate Student Of Racism
When He Wasn't And The African American Teacher WAS !
It Seems To Be The Fashion.
That's Right.
It's some kind of a mass psychology issue,
like the dot com bubble, or the housing bubble,
where everyone follows the irrational trend
with "irrational exuberance."
One such trend is "white man hating."
It'd make a good doctoral thesis,
doing content analysis of newspaper articles
and textbook entries that could be characterized
as "white man hating."
It should be classified
as a special kind of "Hate Crime."

And the shamefully ridiculous psychology industry
(and I intentionally chose the word "industry"
because there's nothing very professional
about the psychology industry),
the shameful ridiculous psychology industry
should clean up their filthy act
and analyze these mass hysterias
such as "white man hating"
instead of inventing endless mental disorders.
To borrow and publicize a brilliant deduction
by a guest on Michael Savage's radio program,
I point out to you that the psychology industry, itself,
suffers from a mental disorder, and that is
"disorder invention disorder."
They keep inventing ridiculous "disorders"
to the point that it is a compulsive disorder of their own.
Maybe they should be analyzing "reverse racism."
Somebody should.
There's an oxymoron for you.
There's nothing anti-racism about THAT concept.
The operative word there is "RACISM."
"reverse racism" is a kind of racism,
a very hateful, evil, horrible, odious kind of racism.
It's racism against white men.
It's wrong and I have a letter here
from Dr. Martin Luther King that shows he agrees.

*******

Dear David,
Racism against white men is wrong.
Sincerely,
Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King

*******

What Was the principal Like
At highlands high school
A big 300-pound guy, or more probably.
He liked noise.
Clever, too, for a big guy.
Usually, big guys just rely on brawn,
so they never use their brains,
and it shows.

Our Graduate Student remembers one day
the principal had all the juniors and seniors
in the gym
on different sides of the gym
screaming and yelling chants at each other.
It was a small gym
and it was a hell of a noisy racket.

What Was So Clever About Him ?
Nothing really, He wasn't clever.
I meant that for a big guy he was clever.
A couple of years later,
Our Graduate Student saw on the news
that the principal was in a swirl of political commotion
at the school.
Apparently, he had been fired or transferred
and some parents were upset.
So the news program said
that the principal was on sick leave
for heart trouble.
Our Graduate Student
thought that was a clever tactic
for a big guy to think of.
You don't usually think of football linemen
as being clever.

He loved Our Graduate Student, though.
He loved people who could keep order
in those crazy classes.
One day, the teacher in the class
next to Our Graduate Student's class
was bein' all wishy-washy feel-good creative
in her "pedagogical methodology"
by havin' the whole class outside.
There's this narrow strip of grass
between the classroom building and the street,
and all her kids are loungin' and hangin' out,
sprawled out all around the sidewalk and grass
beside the school building near the street.
The principal's walkin' all up and down
entreating her to get her kids back in the classroom.
He wasn't into wishy-washy feminine stuff.
He like yelling and noise
and traditional pedagogical methodology,
you know, kids in the classroom in their seats.
He was really happy with Our Graduate Student.

Well, Our Graduate Student was there
to get an internship,
an full-semester, paid assignment
to fulfill his student teaching requirement.
The principal was supportive of this
and said he'd handle the arrangments.
So, after several weeks,
he calls Our Graduate Student to the office
and told him the internship was approved
and gives him paperwork to sign for it.
He was really relieved when Our Graduate Student signed it.
Our Graduate Student read it over at home
and realized that the principal had lied to him.
It had nothing to do with internship or student teaching.
The prinicpal just didn't want to lose Our Graduate Student
who was managing classes well
that five subs before him couldn't manage at all.

Well, anyway, you don't lie to Our Graduate Student.
You know, Trust.
It's real important, like Truth.
I mean, the principal would have been alright
if he told the truth or just didn't say anything.
But he called Our Graduate Student down
and treated Our Graduate Student like a chump
by presenting all this "internship" paperwork.
Our Graduate Student probably would have stayed on
all semester as a long-term sub, anyway.
It was totally unnecessary to bring him in
and lie to him with those counterfeit papers.

So, Our Graduate Student went over the principal's head
and went to the school board
and told him that he was there for an internship
to do his student teaching.
The principal kept him on for another week
(it probably took that long to find another sub)
and that assignment ended.

But that assignment left Our Graduate Student
with a lot of in-the-trenches, savvy contempt
for immature teachers and administrators.
He was, after all, in his thirties, himself,
not a starry-eyed, adoring college kid.
He had worked on Wall Street and for a movie company
in Midtown Manhattan, and had driven a NYC cab
as well as other NYC jobs.
He'd been in the military, on a carrier, overseas.
He'd worked as a county property appraiser
and computer programmer.
He was from Newark, lived on the Lower East Side,
was in campus and anti-war demonstrations.
He had a house and a child.
He had to get his credential ticket stamped,
but he wasn't signing on to take any shit
from a bunch of childish, parochial tchrs n admin.

Remember this as we go into his student teaching.
The next semester, Our Graduate Student
showed up for his student teaching assignment
ready to get down to work,
not to play "frat boy pledge"
to a bunch of smirking, bratty liberals
and patronizing careerists.
Keep that in mind.


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OK
Very Easily.