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sac state

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OK, So We're Done With sac city. You Said He Worked As A Garbage Man, Er, Person, Before He Went Back To sac state To The education program ?

Yes, that's right. There's a bit of a story to the testing process for that Sanitation Crew Worker job that's worth mentioning.

I Got All Day. You Have My Undivided Attention. Let's Hear It.

Well, there's a handful of openings, and 1500 applicants show up. The test consists of picking up a 60 pound garbage can (with sand in it) carrying it a certain distance (100 feet maybe ), putting it down, and picking up another similar can and bringing it back to the starting point, then picking up a third can and going back, and doing that as many times as you could in a certain time (3 or 5 minutes or so). Our Graduate Student is almost the only white guy there. Everybody's black or hispanic. Of course, there was a major snafu. The test was flawed.

Of course ! What was wrong with the test ?

The garbage cans were new. New, shiny silver metal garbage cans. The tester demonstrated precisely how the cans were to be picked up and carried, "one hand here, the other hand here..." He demonstrated it. OK, fine. Problem is, after about 5 or 10 tests, the bottom of the cans were so smashed that no one could hold them as demonstrated. The lip, the rim that was on the cans when they were new was completely smashed and obliterated. It was completely impossible to hold the cans as demonstrated because there was no rim on the bottom to get a hold of, but none of the applicants said anything and the testers just ignored it. After all, they weren't

Teachers

you know ! They weren't America's (barf the teachers !) finest. The garbage cans could not be held as demonstrated and every testee struggled like hell trying to get a grip on the bottom, dropping the cans over and over because of it. Our Graduate Student watches this unbalanced test but HE doesn't say anything, either. Doesn't want to be different. He's practically the only white man there. He's gotta fit it. Meanwhile, all the blacks and hispanics are cheering on their own. They'd count out loud in unison. One!...Two!...Three!...Four!...Five!... and so on. When Our Graduate Student gets called, he gets up there and cradles each garbage can like baby and smokes 'em ! He's this little white man and he smokes all the hispanics and almost every black guy. He did about 5 more than the best count so far. But, nobody was cheerin' him on with a count. He was cool and humble and he walked back to his spot quietly without pumpin' his fist or anything. Now, most of the subsequent testees are cradling the cans the way Our Graduate Student demonstrated. It was really the only way they could be lifted now. After a few minutes, Our Graduate Student goes to the tester to verify his count. The tester gave him a low count, several lower that the score he earned. He protested, and the hispanic counter pretty much said "fuck you" in his own little way.

So, What Did Our Graduate Student Do?

Do you have to even ASK!?

He Wrote A Letter ?

Of Course! And some matronly white female, uppity, angry, FAKE, shallow liberal feminist of the 60's generation gets it. A week or two later, he calls up and she says "fuck you" in her own bitchy little way.

So, How'd He Get The Job ?

Well, remember at sac city when he dated this cutie in The International Club? She was Chinese American. So, these Chinese American christian students start inviting him to their church and he's polite and friendly and social, so he goes. It was a Chinese United Methodist Church, and he thought it was rather odd that he was being preached Christianity by Chinese people. After all, he had been a hippie when he was 17. You know. The Beatles. Yogi Maharesh Something or other. We were seeking "The Wisdom Of The East" from these wise and most ancient of cultures. He had moved from the Northeast to the West Coast because the West Coast was considered to be the advanced, trend-setting state (CITE MEGATRENDS, p. 6). And there he was, being preached Christianity, (as if he were an unenlightened, jungle pagan) by the Chinese, of all people ! That's what happens when you date a girl. The Christians assume you're a sinner and try to save you. They're a total pain in the ass that way !

Was She A Member Of That Church ? Were They Tryin' To Get Them Married ?

Not at all. She was nonchristian, lived in the other direction. It's just the way christians are, that's all. They're always tryin' to save ya'. That's their simpleminded Mythology. Every time you talk to a girl, they must figure you need to be saved by makin' ya' read these Mythologies from 2 or 3 thousand years ago. So, Our Graduate Student went to their church because he was invited, and it was just down the street, and it was a cute and friendly church. He used to take his daughter all the time. So, anyway, there's this guy there who looks familiar. He asks if that's so-and-so, the number 2 man at the county assessor's office, where Our Graduate Student used to work, and they say yes, it is. Our Graduate Student thinks that's an interesting coincidence, didn't know he was christian, and keeps attending the church. Our Graduate Student is sure that that's how he got the garbageman job at the county dept of public works, but that assessor guy would certainly deny it. That guy eventually got elected county assessor, but I can't remember his name. He was a Republican, and Our Graduate Student crossed paths with him again when Our Graduate Student was active in the Victory '88 Presidential Campaign.

So They Must Have Become Fast Friends, Like With Dean Haro !

No, not at all. That Chinese assessor guy kept Our Graduate Student at arms length. It was kind of complicated. That Chinese assessor guy was a nice person, nice family, nice church and all that, and was a bit of a leader in his own society. But...

But !

But... I'm gonna have to get a little politically incorrect here, and it worries me.

Go Ahead! I'm On Your Side! You're Free To Say Anything You Like Here !

Yeah, like The 1982 Newsletters only ruined my teaching career, got me imprisoned, and living on the other side of the country now as a Political Refugee.

OK, I See Your Point. But You Have To Tell The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth. That's What We Want To Hear. And, That's All That Will Save You.

OK, then. Here goes. Chinese Americans just don't get it. I mean, this Chinese assessor guy had a nice, friendly personality and lived by christian values, but it seems that their culture is kind of shallow and superficial in a way. I know this sounds counterintuitive, because we think of the "Deep Wisdom Of The Orient," but that was Our Graduate Student's take on it. These Chinese Americans kinda go with what's on the surface, and Our Graduate Student, by that measure, was radioactive. It's a long story to get all the nuances, but I'll see if I can do it quick. Our Graduate Student had worked at the assessor's office 4 or 5 years earlier. He was the youngest of 6 hired. All of them were white guys, and all were veterans except one, and that one was a "Grateful Dead" Deadhead. They were ALL assholes, except Our Graduate Student. Our Graduate Student was attending law school at night. There was a lot of politics as there always is everywhere, and part of the politics there was jealousy of Our Graduate Student who was young, healthy, good lookin', and in law school. The "Deadhead" had flunked out of that same law school. One of them was a hillbilly from oregon. He was a retired major who'd flown combat missions in Viet Nam. If "attitude determined altitude" then that major was in hell. He hated Asians and he was constantly at war with Our Graduate Student. And, for a whole year, the major sat adjacent to an Asian kid and the two never spoke ONE WORD to each other the entire year. Our Graduate Student eventually got fed up. He doesn't take shit from anybody. Why should he ?

Just Like At That state university. He Wasn't About To Take Shit From Those FAKE, shallow liberal fascists.

That's it exactly. Why should he ? We only have so many hours on this planet. Why have an epitaph that reads, "he took shit from everybody what a punk ?" Better to have one that reads, "He didn't take shit from ANYBODY!, AND WHY THE HELL SHOULD HE!!?!

I"m With Ya.

So, anyway, this Asian assessor christian guy never even met Our Graduate Student at work, never even came over to the office where he worked, at least not while Our Graduate Student was there. So, who knows what he had heard about Our Gradute Student ? But, the general impression of the group, even in Our Graduate Student's opinion, was that of a bunch of loudmouth, asshole, racist white boys Fast forward a couple of years and Our Graduate Student establishes a student organization at sac state and writes His Newsletters. Asian Americans just didn't understand stuff like that. They're all just taking accounting classes and stuff like that. They just really don't get the whole democracy thing. They just weren't really into Western Culture and our Rights like Freedom of Speech. They just didn't get it. Nice people, lots of them, but they were just kinda into escaping their miserable country and fleecing America as much as they could. No offense intended. That's just Our Graduate Student's impression. It's a generalization, of course, painting with a broad brush, a stereotype, if you will, but a useful generalization. Anyway, that was the impression Our Graduate Student was left with. As far as that Asian christian assessor guy could fathom, that whole Newsletter writing thing was just simply incomprehensible. "Why would anybody ever want to do THAT when they could be taking an accounting class instead!?" Here's a little vignette to illustrate the point. A year or two after the garbageman job, Our Graduate Student's substitute teaching at highlands high school. There were two young teachers there about Our Graduate Student's age, in their thirties, one Asian and one White (he was the dept chair). Anyway, all three of them always ate lunch there between the science rooms, and Our Graduate Student often listened to those two jousting verbally, as immature young males often do. They'd make adolescent sexual jokes, like when the white dept. head kid joked about all the fucking that asians did and so that was the cause of their population problem. "Ha Ha Ha. Ha Ha Ha. Ha Ha Ha." So, one day the asian kid fires a salvo. "What a bunch of idiots those protesters in Berkeley were ! When I was a student there in the sixties, I'd look out my window and watch them gettin' the shit beat out of them by the police and I'd think, 'What a bunch of fuckin' idiots those protestors are !'" Of course, one of the main reasons for the demonstrations was the "racist" war in Viet Nam. Those "idiots" were protesting, among other things, the napalming of Vietnamese villages and the burning down of villages and massacres like the one at Mi Lai. And, a lot of the leaders of the protests at Berkeley had started out on the civil rights bus rides in the South, the Mississippi Summer Project ("The Troubled Crusade" by Diane Ravitch, pp. 188 - 189) where they also experienced police brutality, and two of them were even killed by civilians. These 'idiots' at Berkeley started out in what's referred to at "The Free Speech Movement." ("The Troubled Crusade" by Diane Ravitch, p. 192) "According to one survey, about half the student body sympathized in some way with the strike, while the other half either opposed it or ignored it." ("The Troubled Crusade" by Diane Ravitch, pp. 194 - 195). Correction, Diane. That half was only 49.99999% or so. There was one fat, rude, obnoxious asian kid who was actively MOCKING the students who suffered blows protesting the white racist war and the burning of asian children in Mi Lai, and who would be mouthin' off like an idiot, himself, two decades later at highlands high school. Yeah, he even used to provoke Our Graduate Student by yelling across the campus walking area about "The Stupid Irish! The Stupid Irish!" or words to that effect. Free Speech allows even idiots like him to mouth off. But those sacramento chinese just couldn't understand why Our Graduate Student would fight like hell (by writing letters in a civilized manner like MLK, of course) against language censorship and liberal fascism at sac state, when he coulda been taking ACCOUNTING classes ! Go figure. One quick, short vignette about that asian christian assessor guy. So, Our Graduate Student is attending the church and socializing and one day he says how he enjoys watching WWF Wrestling. Right away the asian assessor guy informs him in a lecturing, patronizing tone, that WWF Wrestling is fake, and that the wrestlers all have to register as actors. Our Graduate Student was taken aback somewhat by the patronizing tone. Did he think he was a fucking idiot ? Apparently so ! EVERYBODY knows WWF Wrestling is fake ! It's totally fucking obvious. It just so happens that at that particular time it was also really, really, really funny. Those were the days when Jessie Ventura (later Minnesota Governor Ventura) was co-announcer alongside Vince McMahon. The witty repartee between those two was sometimes hilarious. Just as "Saturday Night Live" hit peaks with "The Blues Brothers" and now Tina Fey, So WWF Wrestling had its days. But the very insulting tone of that christian asian assessor guy, even though he didn't intend to be insulting was very telling. The asian christian assessor guy just couldn't get it. He just couldn't understand it. The asian christian assessor guy was the one who was intellectually limited. HE's the one who couldn't understand protesting liberal fascism or a racist war (a racist war that burnt asians to death, by the way). I mean, I suppose Our Graduate Student could have taken that asian guy to task for being a fundmentalist christian. "Don't you believe in EVOLUTION, you stupid idiot !?" he could have asked. "Doesn't your son go to Stanford !? He musta taken a science class or two ! Haven't you two ever discussed evolution or the geologic ages of the earth !?" But he didn't say those things. Our Graduate Student was just bein' a good, friendly neighbor. You see, Our Graduate Student is nothing, if not APPROPRIATE. He understands that a taxpayer funded state university is the PERFECTLY APPROPRIATE place to protest LIBERAL FASCIST IDEA AND WORD CENSORSHIP ! "Appropriate." "Appropriate." The feminist and liberal fascists probably have a litany a mile long of all the times Our Graduate Student was not "appropriate" in their underestimations. Our Graduate Student is APPROPRIATE. state university ? Protest and speak out against liberal fascist censorship ! Neighborhood church ? Be friendly and sociable even if they insult you. Our Graduate Student Is Very, Very, Very APPROPRIATE! He's Wonderful! Perfect! The Best!

Quite a vignette! Are You Tired Now? Shall We Break For The Day?

Yes, I'm tired and No we shall not break. Let's get through this sac state crap. That stupid state university doesn't deserve any more of our attention. So, Our Graduate Student earns a little money as a garbageman for 6 months or so and enrolls in the education program at sac state. He loved that garbageman job, by the way. He got into great shape. Totally physical labor, lots of camraderie, easy on the mind!

Wasn't Our Graduate Student Honored And Grateful That They Were So Lenient And Kind To Him In Allowing Him Back Into sac state Into Their Great education program ?

You mean, the sac state traffic school and education certificate department ?

Oh.

Yeah. traffic school. Just given' them a collection of Dr. Ravitch's articles to read would be a better use of their time for all concerned.

So, They Just Accepted Him In With No Hassles ? Was He Surprised ? Why Did He Apply THERE After All The Hostility And Uproar A Few Years Earlier ?

Well, it's REQUIRED. You gotta get certified SOMEWHERE. It's a big, money-sucking, bureaucratic empire. The more requirements, the more hoops and barrels to jump, the more education departments in the universities, the better for the education bureaucrats. It's WORSE than just a waste of time and money. It feeds the monster. It feeds the bureaucratic education liberal fascists. He had to go SOMEWHERE! Why shouldn't he go through the local state program ? He hadn't done anything wrong !

THEY HAD!

I Hear Ya

Besides, he was highly qualified. 96th to 99th %ile on his National Teachers' Exams except for Physical Science, and that was 89th %ile. He'd studied and tutored at Sac City for a couple of years. Why shouldn't he be able to go through the sac state traffic school and education certificate program ? There was a little bit of drama to the "readmission" process. He might have dropped out and got some "F"s that semester when he wrote The Newsletters. So, he's being interviewed for admission by this very appropriate, matronly old female and she opens up his file to that page where john gwynn admitted him to the computer science program he was in, back in 1982. She points at it and stares at Our Graduate Student. Our Graduate Student wonders, "Is this a question ?" "Oh, john gwynn. he was the department chair." "still IS," she replies. "That's nice," Our Graduate Student says. I mean, they just didn't fucking get it. Our Graduate Student didn't have issues. He never had anything PERSONAL against john gwynn or any of them. He didn't have PERSONAL issues any more than Martin Luther King had PERSONAL issues. They had issues of PRINCIPLE. They just weren't gonna take their SHIT. And why the fuck should they !? So the matronly old appropriate female takes out his file and points to john gwynn's entry of approval and waits for a response and Our Graduate Student shrugs and says, "that's nice." He's VERY appropriate, Our Graduate Student. Very appropriate. As appropriate as they come. Protested liberal fascist censorship on campus, you know.

That's A Very Appropriate Thing To Do.

Thaaaaaaat's right. You're catchin' on.

And He Did It In A Peaceful And Civilized Manner, By Writing Newsletters, Like Martin Luther King

Thaaaaaaat's right.

He Didn't Act Like a CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY Person, Screamin' and Yellin' Like Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin And That Fat Little Chinese American Teacher At Highlands High School.

Thaaaaaaat's right.

And He Didn't Pass The Craziness Duck Test Like john gwynn Did For Lookin', Actin', and Soundin' Like A CRAZY Person Like When john gwynn Told People He Was An Alcoholic Cause It SCARED People And He Didn't LOOK Like Charles Manson Like john gwynn Did Didn't Look Like A Crazy Person. Our Very Appropriate And Peaceful Graduate Student Didn't Look Like, Act Like, And Sound Like A CRAZY Person Like john gwynn Did !

Thaaaaaaat's right.

So, Our Graduate Student Was Warmly Welcomed Into the sac state teacher education certification and traffic school program And Put In His Time And Got His Ticket Stamped And Became

A TEACHER !

He Received The Sacrament of Teacherdom And, When He Received That Sacrament, ALL OF A SUDDEN At That Moment The Power And Force Were With Him And Upon Him And Through Him And With Him And He Suddenly Had Special Powers Like Only A

TEACHER

has to help children, Especially The Bottom 20% Who Are Most In Need And Cause All The Fuckin' Trouble In The Classrooms And Everywhere Else And Disrupt The Learning Environment For All Those Horrible Good Kids Who Are Motivated To Learn.

Yyy...well...um... in a sorta way... I suppose. Anyway, he wasn't annointed there at sac state. They kicked him out of the order, out of the priesthood. He had to finish up at another state certifying traffic and education school.

Why Did They Kick Him Out ?

Why ? You Have To Fucking ASK !? They HATED him ! He was everything good and professional and he showed them to be everything bad and bratty and self-entitled and unprofessional. What you mean to ask, probably, is "What was the pretext for dropping Our Graduate Student from the traffic school and teacher certification program?" !

That's Right. What Was The Pretext. How Did They Set Him Up ?

Easy. They just set him up in a hostile interview, implied that his behavior was inappropriate, and dropped him from the program. Got rid of him real easy. They'd been probin' and pokin' for weaknesses all semester long but Our Graduate Student was an exemplary student. Those liberal fascists never did seem to get it that Our Graduate Student was the professional and that they were the self-entitled, unprofessional brats.

He Was A Good Student ?

Of course! He was diligent. He studied the text eagerly. Got a piece of candy from one professor for scoring the highest on the test lol. Of course, that was a test of knowledge and understanding, not just an opinion barf. They had a specialist in opinion-barfing, a hired gun who they brought in to deal with Our Graduate Student.

Oh, really ?

Oh, Yeah. she was from

Minna suh OH tuh dontcha thank ?

That's "minnesota, don't ya think ?" for those of you who speak Standard English. mary jane olson was from minne suh OH tah, soliah, the white sla soul sistah. soliah was from minna suh OH tah. That's where she was in a school play when she went "underground", fleein' from the pigs, you know. Yeah, bein' in a school play proved that she was a wonderful person, according to the sacramenot bee, and hence deserving of not being burnt at the stake for murdering a church lady during the commission of an armed robbery of a bank, just like bonnie and clyde. bonnie and clyde were so coooooooooooool! warren beatty, faye dunaway. so glamorous ! all self-entitled liberal brats should grow up to be murdering robbers and flee the pigs "underground." It's a great lifestyle to prove how morally outraged you are. But some just get older and become pain-in-the ass astronomy and chemistry and education teachers like this hired gun white matron they brought from oakland. Her tests had nothing to do with knowledge and understanding. You were graded on your opinion-barfing. she's like all superior and condescending. she says to the class, "have you ever been on a guided imagery ?", and waits 2 seconds for a response and sighs in exasperation and says, "ok, i can see you're all a bunch of backward, ignorant, backwater sacramentans, so i'll take you on your first guided imagery." (oii) Can you see her errors there ?

No. Please Explain.

Well, first of all, she only waited 2 seconds for a response. According to madeleine hunter's lesson plans, or one of those education experts, you should wait at least 3 or 5 seconds to get the best response. That's how you evaluate a teacher, you know. You sit in the back of the classroom and wait 'til the teacher asks the class a question. Then you take out your stopwatch and count the number of seconds they wait before calling on a student. If it's less than the required 3 or 5 seconds, you note that they're insensitive and unenlightened, and you drop them from teaching.

Oh, That Sounds Reasonable.

Yes, it SOUNDS very scientific, doesn't it ?

Well, Yes, There's Measurement Involved. That's What Science Is All About. Measurement. Can't Argue With Science. Two Things You Can't Argue With. The Bible And Science.

Yeah, so she insults the class that way, but only Our Graduate Student undestood the insult, probably, and then she says, "close your eyes and think about your favorite teacher." That's guided imagery. Closin' your eyes and thinkin' about your favorite teacher, or whatever the waddling matron tells you to think about. So one day she shows a movie and tells the class to barf up their opinion of the movie, The movie was "Teachers" about a crazy school that was totally out of control like "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" crossed with "Up The Down Staircase" crossed with "I Was A Teenage Zombie Delinquent" (mu) crossed with "I Was A Crazy Zombie Teacher." It was better than "Beetlejuice," though. A few years later, they'd show "Beetlejuice" to the kids at some high school where the teachers were on strike. unbelievable. So Our Graduate Student barfs up the opinion that the movie, "Teachers," was about "a school that was out of control." You guessed it probably. Do I need to count to 3 or 5 or whatever ?

No. I Think I Got It. Our Graduate Student Barfed Up The Wrong Opinion.

Excellent. Here's a piece of candy.

What Was The Opinion it Wanted ? That It Was The Best Of All Possible Worlds ? And That Liberal Fascist Social Reconstructionist teachers were saving america one student assault at a time ?

Well, yeah, maybe, sort of, I guess. I mean it was a pretty damn good world to her. She was doin' just fine, waddlin' around as a professor. education ahad abean avery agoood atoo her. But that wasn't the answer she wanted. The students kept on barfin' wrong opinions and she was really patient. She was givin' 'em a long time to answer, way more than 5 seconds. You gotta give her credit for that.

No doubt. Of course we do.

Yeah, she just kept on waitin' waitin' and askin' and askin'. She just enjoyed so much gettin' all those wrong opinions, showin' how backwards those sacramento kids were and how advanced she was bein' from minne suh OH tuh and oakland, doncha thank ? just like mary jane olson soliah sla. they're so ADVANCED up there. just like bonnie and clyde and warren beatty and faye dunaway. Anyway, by this time, Our Graduate Student's beginnin' to think they were bein' insulted again. So, finally, after she's had her fill of enjoyment of these sacramento kids bein' wrong again and again and again and again, she beams and says, "it's a re FLACK shun of

suh SAY uh tay !

(a reflection of society) the high school in the movie is a re FLACK shun of

suh SAY uh tay !"

Didn't ANYTHING Good Happen There At Sac State ?

Amazingly, Yes ! That one professor who used that pretty good textbook, the one who rewarded Our Graduate Student with candy for getting the highest test score, well he distributed a handout one day that Our Graduate Student enjoyed and always remembered. And, he didn't THROW the handouts at anybody in an offensive manner the way that CRAZY women's libber did to Our Graduate Student, back in 1982. He just handed them out, the usual way. It was one of those "underground" kind of handouts. You know, not really part of the curriculum, but amusing. Our Graduate Student thought it was very insightful. It was a one page story about these different animals who had a school but they disagreed about the curriculum. The birds wanted more emphasis on flying. The four-legged animals wanted more classes on running. The kangaroos and frogs wanted hopping classes, and the monkeys wanted tree-climbing classes. The class valedictorian was a snake. She could climb trees, slither along the ground pretty fast, swim a little, jump a little, and even fly a bit when she jumped off a tree branch. Well, finally, the beavers and gophers and friends went off and started their own school which emphasized digging. Also, in that class, Our Graduate Student was introducted, albeit only in passing, to the notion of vouchers. And, he read, for the first time, and article by Dr. Ravitch, so maybe it is the best of all possible worlds, doncha thank ?

OK

Very Easily.

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OK

Very Easily.