Lions and Tigers and Bears
and Elephants and Knives and Deadly Weapons
In The School, Oh My!
And A Cute 6th Grade Girl
Who Had A Schoolgirl Crush
On Her Math Teacher, Oh My!
Let's Socially Shame That Little Girl
And Embarass And Coerce
Her Into Complaining, Oh My!
IN OTHER WORDS, FELLOW CONSPIRATORS,
LET'S USE THAT LITTLE GIRL AND HER EMOTIONS
FOR OUR OWN, PERSONAL, SELF-GRATIFICATION AND SATISFACTION!
I loved my students.
No, really, I adored them.
Actually, I was just crazy about them.
I miss them so much,
and that cute little school.
It was new, just like the kids were.
Actually, it as about the same age as the kids,
a dozen years old, give or take a few.
I loved my kids APPROPRIATELY,
but all the rest of the administrators and teachers
WHO WANT TO WORK WITH CHILDREN
are despicable, loathesome scum
WHO DO IT FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS,
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!
Seriously, you have a relationship with everyone you meet at school,
a relationship of some sort or another.
You interact with teachers you work with, teachers you don't work with and only see in assemblies,
administrators, other adults like counselors, maintenance staff, office staff,
kids in your classes,
kids who are not in your classes who you run into in the halls or outdoors
when you're on duty there.
Parents.
And they WANT you to have relationships with the students, with the children.
"In Loco Parentis", "In The Place Of The Parent".
In fact once, long ago, when I was subbing,
I had a teacher, a union person, in my classroom,
and her presence there changed my performance (I was waiting for her to leave),
and she scolded me eventually, saying,
"YOUR JOB IS TO INTERACT WITH CHILDREN!"
My bad that day. She was right that I wasn't engaging them much,
partly because of her.
But the point is what she said straight and clear,
"Your job is to interact with children!"
Damned if you do. Damned if you don't.
Not only that, they want you to have a DIFFERENT relationship with every child.
They actually have an EDUSPEAK name for it. They call it "DIFFERENTIATION."
So, anyway, you get to know everyone, but you're with your own students the most, every day.
You have first impressions, and they have first impressions of you, and so on.
Some are sad and need help. Some are on top of the game.
Friendly, quiet, outgoing, pretty, unpretty, smart, funny, friendly, rude, troublesome, and so on.
They have groups. You get to know them and how they interact with different students.
Some need your attention. Some are very likeable and they brighten your day.
Some you wish weren't in your class at all.
And then ... sometimes ... The Girl From Ipanema Is Your Student...